Tuesday, January 14, 2003

I'm happy to tell y'all that thanks to the efforts of the kind and generous Robert Prather, I'm able to finally say aufwiedersehen to the grossly unreliable blogspot. You can find me at my new home here.

Cheers, Blogger!

Welcome to 1965, Georgia.

Andrea Harris:

"Mark Morford, whose writing sucks the chrome off the tailpipe of a city bus..."

Too funny.

Deborah Orr asks: Is it a crime just to look at pictures of children?

No. Not unless they're doing stuff that's better left to two (or maybe three or four, depending on your own inhibitions) consenting adults. If they are doing that stuff, then I guess the "crime" factor depends on where you live. At any rate, it's really, really weird.

His defence is compelling. He says that he looked at child pornography on the internet as part of his work on his autobiography, in which he writes about the child abuse he underwent himself when he was five or six. He cites the rock opera Tommy as containing material which draws on that buried experience, and also much charitable work in which he tries to combat child abuse. His account is entirely credible.

He "buried" it in a major musical production? You mean like the way that Roger Waters "buried" the secret that his father died in WWII in The Wall? Give me a break.

You said it, Mean Mr. Mustard!

Monday, January 13, 2003

Statement of Democratic People's™ Republic of Korea Ministry of Propoganda Government on its withdrawal from NPT

The Government of the Democratic People's™ Republic of Korea issued a statement today as regards the grave situation where the national sovereignty and the supreme interests of the state are most seriously threatened by the U.S. vicious hostile policy toward the DP™RK. The full text of the statement reads:

A dangerous situation where our nation's sovereignty and our state's security are being seriously violated is prevailing on the Korean Peninsula due to the U.S. vicious hostile policy toward the DP™RK.

The United States instigated the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) to adopt another "resolution" against the DP™RK on January 6 in the wake of a similar "resolution" made on November 29, 2002.

Up with Marxism. Blah blah. Viva la revelucion. Blah blah, blah, blah blah blah evil imperialist United States. Blah blah.

Systematically violating the DP™RK-U.S. Agreed Framework, the U.S. brought up another "nuclear suspicion" and stopped the supply of heavy oil, reducing the AF to a dead document. It also answered the DP™RK's sincere proposal for the conclusion of the DP™RK-U.S. non-aggression treaty and its patient efforts for negotiations with such threats as "blockade" and "military punishment" and with such an arrogant attitude as blustering that it may talk but negotiations are impossible.

U.S. response: "Whatever" you "commie" bastard "nitwits".

Welcome to the Blogosphere, Danny O'Brien.

Sunday, January 12, 2003

Congresswomen in fact-finding visit

A high-profile delegation of US Congresswomen have arrived in Northern Ireland on a fact-finding mission.

Yes. Led by none other than Carolyn McCarthy of New York, a Congresswoman who once sponsored a bill that would set aside a day to recognize the IRA hunger strikers "contribution to the peace process" (well, technically, you can't deny their contribution. Without the efforts of they and their associates, it wouldn't have been needed...). Incidentally, McCarthy happens to be one of the biggest advocates of gun control in Congress. Maybe somebody in Belfast will tell her why Bobby Sands was in jail to begin with.

We're here with famed Guns N' Roses guitarist and noted foreign policy expert Slash at the anti-war protest rally in Los Angeles. Slash, tell us, what do you think of the possibility of war with Iraq?

Slash: Man, it is so, like...uncool. I totally think that war is bad. It's like I was telling Gilby at the Whiskey the other night before we went off to Los Feliz to bang some Penthouse models and vomit all over the carpet. You know, people are going to die and stuff.

Also with us is actor Martin Sheen, whose advice on international relations is pertinent, since he plays the President of the United States on television. Martin, would you mind sharing your insights?

Sheen: Of course not. A lot of people have been silenced for a long time, but that is ending. We are telling the world that we are patriotic Americans but we do not support war with Iraq. We are also telling them that we think blocking commerce in downtown Los Angeles is the best way to excercize our democratic right to make pains in the asses of ourselves.

Thank you, Mr. Sheen. Other celebrities in attendance included Oscar-winning actress Kim Basinger and Jackson Brown. Estimates of the number of protesters ranged from 10 to 200,000,000 - police said the event was noisy but passed off peacefully.

A similar march is scheduled to take place in San Francisco next weekend, a city that is no stranger to the convergence of stupid hippies in large numbers on public land.*

*I made most of this up. Hit the link for the real story.