Friday, July 26, 2002

After years of suffering under the Colonel’s oppressive regime that has forced them to eat Kentucky Fried Pigeon at gunpoint, Americans aren’t going to take it anymore. A bunch of twits in NY have filed a lawsuit against fast food restaurants for making them fat. I actually hope they win this one. It’ll set a nice precedent for when I sue Jack Daniel’s after my liver craps out.

(Found over at Tim Blair's joint)

Thursday, July 25, 2002

Hook 'em, book 'em, cook 'em.

Blair Says Northern Ireland's Militias Must All Disband

It is no longer sufficient just that there should be no terrorist violence," he told the House of Commons. "We have to be clear that preparations for violence have also ceased."

"If paramilitaries continue down the current path of violence, I'm afraid Her Majesty's government will have no other choice than to negotiate and make concessions," the Prime Minister concluded.*

*not really.

Wednesday, July 24, 2002

Top five activities of drunks leaving Hollywood Park for the bus stop on the corner of Century Blvd. & Doty:

1. Shadow boxing
2. Screaming at passing cars
3. Talking to themselves
4. Littering
5. Playing in traffic

Not that this is in any way important. I just work across the street from all this and thought I'd share.

Holy shit. That's a really big gator.

How much crack does one have to smoke before trying to hijack a train?

CNN's Crossfire bravely asks the question "did law enforcement officials leak the tape in attempt to disrupt Sharpton's potential presidential run in 2004?"

The real question is "did anyone really think that Al Sharpton stood a chance at winning without law enforcement producing this tape?"

Excerpt from Tucker "Bow Tie" Carlson's interview with Sharpton:

CARLSON: You're wearing a cowboy hat, Al, and the guy says, "The cocaine?"...


CARLSON: ... and you say, "Yes." I mean, come on!

SHARPTON: My two predecessors, one said, I smoked marijuana and didn't inhale. The other was arrested, drunk driving. I had an attempted sting, and I ended up being the bee. So, I mean, let's go forward with the election.

Really, Al. Your predecessors?

Rowan Williams, will you please shut up.
I don't mind people criticizing the "war on terror", as long as they do so thoughtfully, logically, and use solid evidence and circumstance to back up their argument. But saying that U.S. troops actively support and carry out "random killings" of civilians in Afghanistan "as a matter of military policy" is just outrageously stupid. Especially coming from a man who is to assume such an important spiritual position.

The gentlemen over at We Are Full of Shit are upset because they have fallen down to # 5 on the list of Google searches for "shit". Let's all do our part to get the boys back on top, eh?

John Reid is taking questions in the House of Commons right now. There's not a big crowd there, but the MPs there are raising some good issues. I think it can be viewed with both Real Player and Windows Media.

UPDATE: I love it when people try and define "an acceptable level of violence". This stuff is great.

ANOTHER UPDATE: It's all the Conservative's fault, according to Dr. Reid. Apparently, in the Secretary's view, they are wholly in objection to the entire peace process. Yep.

AND ANOTHER: Someone's suggested an "independent mechanism" to "look into" paramilitary activity. I think this session alone is a perfect illustration of why assembling an objective body on this issue is all but completely impossible.

AGAIN: John Reid just said that Northern Ireland is a "greatly valued" part of the United Kingdom. I'm sure he was deeply sincere in that sentiment.

And that he would like the IRA to say the war is over. With Cheese!

Now they're talking about the UFF describing their random shooting of a 19 year old Catholic man as a "measured military response". Gee, it takes a really big man to say that was terrible.

I found this one over at Doc's place. Someone is actually auctioning off a senator's vote over at Ebay. Opening bid is fifty bucks, so if any of you out there need a few strings pulled in Washington, get thyself on down there.

Here are a few hotels that I will never be staying in. What a bunch of self-righteous jerks.

So, I didn't go to the secession debate last night at LMU, because something more fun came up. Yes, I know I am a lousy, rotten, apathetic citizen. If you're interested in what went on, you can read about it in the Daily Sleaze here.

Tuesday, July 23, 2002

If you're not reading Captain Mojo, you should be.

Malachi O'Doherty remembers Bloody Friday.

For any L.A. people following the whole secession business, there's going to be a debate tonight at 7 PM at Loyola Marymount University in Westchester. I'm going to try and make it, so if anyone else winds up going, I'll be the ugly one sitting in the back taking notes, so please come up and say hi. Or don't.

I was just wondering: since I don't like the politics of either Paul McCartney or John Lennon, does that mean I have to throw out my Beatles albums twice?

Monday, July 22, 2002

On the heels of the return of Ken Layne, it looks like Matt Welch is back, too. Go say hi.

Blair warns IRA of risk to ceasefire

Tony Blair will this week warn the IRA that links with overseas terrorist groups, acquiring new weapons and organising paramiliary violence on the streets of Belfast are incompatible with their ceasefire.

I don't think there's any other word in the English language I can think of right now besides "duh".