Tuesday, January 14, 2003

I'm happy to tell y'all that thanks to the efforts of the kind and generous Robert Prather, I'm able to finally say aufwiedersehen to the grossly unreliable blogspot. You can find me at my new home here.

Cheers, Blogger!

Welcome to 1965, Georgia.

Andrea Harris:

"Mark Morford, whose writing sucks the chrome off the tailpipe of a city bus..."

Too funny.

Deborah Orr asks: Is it a crime just to look at pictures of children?

No. Not unless they're doing stuff that's better left to two (or maybe three or four, depending on your own inhibitions) consenting adults. If they are doing that stuff, then I guess the "crime" factor depends on where you live. At any rate, it's really, really weird.

His defence is compelling. He says that he looked at child pornography on the internet as part of his work on his autobiography, in which he writes about the child abuse he underwent himself when he was five or six. He cites the rock opera Tommy as containing material which draws on that buried experience, and also much charitable work in which he tries to combat child abuse. His account is entirely credible.

He "buried" it in a major musical production? You mean like the way that Roger Waters "buried" the secret that his father died in WWII in The Wall? Give me a break.

You said it, Mean Mr. Mustard!

Monday, January 13, 2003

Statement of Democratic People's™ Republic of Korea Ministry of Propoganda Government on its withdrawal from NPT

The Government of the Democratic People's™ Republic of Korea issued a statement today as regards the grave situation where the national sovereignty and the supreme interests of the state are most seriously threatened by the U.S. vicious hostile policy toward the DP™RK. The full text of the statement reads:

A dangerous situation where our nation's sovereignty and our state's security are being seriously violated is prevailing on the Korean Peninsula due to the U.S. vicious hostile policy toward the DP™RK.

The United States instigated the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) to adopt another "resolution" against the DP™RK on January 6 in the wake of a similar "resolution" made on November 29, 2002.

Up with Marxism. Blah blah. Viva la revelucion. Blah blah, blah, blah blah blah evil imperialist United States. Blah blah.

Systematically violating the DP™RK-U.S. Agreed Framework, the U.S. brought up another "nuclear suspicion" and stopped the supply of heavy oil, reducing the AF to a dead document. It also answered the DP™RK's sincere proposal for the conclusion of the DP™RK-U.S. non-aggression treaty and its patient efforts for negotiations with such threats as "blockade" and "military punishment" and with such an arrogant attitude as blustering that it may talk but negotiations are impossible.

U.S. response: "Whatever" you "commie" bastard "nitwits".

Welcome to the Blogosphere, Danny O'Brien.

Sunday, January 12, 2003

Congresswomen in fact-finding visit

A high-profile delegation of US Congresswomen have arrived in Northern Ireland on a fact-finding mission.

Yes. Led by none other than Carolyn McCarthy of New York, a Congresswoman who once sponsored a bill that would set aside a day to recognize the IRA hunger strikers "contribution to the peace process" (well, technically, you can't deny their contribution. Without the efforts of they and their associates, it wouldn't have been needed...). Incidentally, McCarthy happens to be one of the biggest advocates of gun control in Congress. Maybe somebody in Belfast will tell her why Bobby Sands was in jail to begin with.

We're here with famed Guns N' Roses guitarist and noted foreign policy expert Slash at the anti-war protest rally in Los Angeles. Slash, tell us, what do you think of the possibility of war with Iraq?

Slash: Man, it is so, like...uncool. I totally think that war is bad. It's like I was telling Gilby at the Whiskey the other night before we went off to Los Feliz to bang some Penthouse models and vomit all over the carpet. You know, people are going to die and stuff.

Also with us is actor Martin Sheen, whose advice on international relations is pertinent, since he plays the President of the United States on television. Martin, would you mind sharing your insights?

Sheen: Of course not. A lot of people have been silenced for a long time, but that is ending. We are telling the world that we are patriotic Americans but we do not support war with Iraq. We are also telling them that we think blocking commerce in downtown Los Angeles is the best way to excercize our democratic right to make pains in the asses of ourselves.

Thank you, Mr. Sheen. Other celebrities in attendance included Oscar-winning actress Kim Basinger and Jackson Brown. Estimates of the number of protesters ranged from 10 to 200,000,000 - police said the event was noisy but passed off peacefully.

A similar march is scheduled to take place in San Francisco next weekend, a city that is no stranger to the convergence of stupid hippies in large numbers on public land.*

*I made most of this up. Hit the link for the real story.

Saturday, January 11, 2003

IRA statement clears the air.

Pejman says:

"Maybe Bill Simon was a lousy candidate. But it would be next to impossible for California to find a worse Governor than Davis."

Next to impossible, baby. Can I jog your memory?

Poor David Carr.

Friday, January 10, 2003

Damian Penny's got his "What Would Bloggers Drive" post up...

Hey, Gray Davis! Screw you!

IRA warns of peace process 'threat'

The IRA leadership has said the Northern Ireland political process is "under threat".

No kidding, fuckers.

They also accused both the British Government and unionists of trying to impose "'unacceptable and unrealistic" demands on republicans.

Yeah. Please stop stockpiling weapons and killing people. The nerve!

However, in a New Year statement, the group said it remained committed to a just and lasting peace.

As long as it is on their terms.

The statement comes as Sinn Fein President Gerry Adams prepares to meet Prime Minister Tony Blair at Downing Street on Thursday afternoon to discuss the deadlocked process.


Sinn Fein has blamed the difficulties in the process on unionists.

Sinn Fein has consistently blamed unionists for everything.

That attitude was reinforced by the IRA in its statement to the republican newspaper, An Phoblacht, which said: "Pursuing an agenda dictated by those opposed to change obstructs the creation of the conditions necessary to building a lasting peace."

You mean like a paramilitary agenda?

"The IRA leadership has outlined, on a number of occasions, how the full implementation by the two governments of their commitments could provide a political context with the potential to remove the causes of conflict. That remains our view.

"The primary responsibility for restoring confidence in this process lies with the British Government. Honouring their obligations is how this can be done."

Causes of conflict = unflinching bastards armed to the hilt. The “primary responsibility” lies with everybody involved. Maybe if Sinn Fein spent more time making sure they and their friends in the IRA honored their obligations and less time pointing their fingers at everybody else, the “threat” would be less substantial.

(Link courtesy of Mr. Fealty)

Thursday, January 09, 2003

I don't live in NYC, but for those of you who do:

Big Apple Blogger Bash 2003!

Go. Have fun. Get loaded. If anyone drops trou, I want photos.

TV Commercials Link SUVs, Terror Funds

The 30-second ads were created for The Detroit Project, a nonprofit launched by syndicated columnist Arianna Huffington. They will begin airing Sunday in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, San Francisco, Washington and Detroit.

"This campaign is not designed to demonize SUV owners," Huffington said. "We simply want to point out that they are selfish and irresponsible and might as well write a check straight to al Qaeda."*

*I made that last part up.

I would just like to state for the record, since it apparently hasn’t been made totally clear, that I HATE IAN PAISLEY. Please don’t anyone else forward me that fucking article from the Irish News in outrage.

And since it’s happened once before, let me also say that if anyone links to in the comments section, your remarks will be deleted. I don’t like censorship, I don’t like deleting comments – even ones that tell me I’m full of shit – but I will if you defend that person. One of the greatest intellectual ventures I’ve ever faced is learning to tolerate the intolerable. It is with no amount of regret that I tell you here I’ve yet to master the challenge.

Wednesday, January 08, 2003

Dammit, Scott, sometimes you're just too funny...