Clarification: I originally came across the link above while looking for a reliable source as reference to someone who sent me an “I don’t get it” e-mail after the Francis Hughes post below. If you’re not sure what “on the blanket” means, might I suggest you read this first. It’s much funnier if you do.
New figures to be published by the Home Office in January will show a record number of crimes involving firearms. Guns are being used to carry out revenge shootings between rival gangsters and drug dealers, for robberies, muggings, and even as fashion accessories among young men out to impress.
You'll note that guns aren't being used for little things like "self-defense" or "protection of person or property". But at least Britain has proved once and for all that gun control works.
“That’s complete horseshit”, a spokesperson for the BBC commented. “Even if there were cases of receiving 30 telephone calls from one household, that still puts the results at one vote per family member. Besides, the dead were only allowed to vote once.”
Live via satellite feed from Hell, Francis Hughes remarked “this is a great day for Ireland. Maybe now I can finally eat something. Tiocfaidh Ar La!” When asked how he’s found his accommodations over the last two decades, Mr. Hughes replied “other than the terribly hot weather, things aren’t that much different here than in Bellaghy or Belfast, except that nobody seems to mind when we smear our crap all over the place.”